i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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