glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
