she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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