That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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