I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
