I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
