i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize