He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
