Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
