i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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