You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
