then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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