i would punch a child for taco bell
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So many bounce houses so little time
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
