This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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