What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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