he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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