sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
