Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
