Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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