We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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