So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
