Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Green mimosas i think yes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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