bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
