It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
