if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
