he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You were trust falling into bushes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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