I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
