im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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