the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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