with your own penis?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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