i'm lost and i look like a hooker
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize