you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
