Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
