Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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