i think my tv is drunk
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
no more duck duck goose at the bar
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
