the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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