you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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