You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My breasts were aching with rage.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize