New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Everything about him screamed your future.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
