she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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