Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
