Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
