I just made out with a guy for $7.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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