If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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