So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
