She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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