What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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