A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
