imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
