Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
