yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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