you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
