We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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