i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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