Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
