Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
