Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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