I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
