I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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