At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
