i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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