A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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