But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
