I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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