that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
