I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
