tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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