this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
