I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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