okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
