Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
