You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
