so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
