Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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