last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
