so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize