I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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