We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
